


The Fool

by YaBoiBellabean



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Angst, Angst and Feels, M/M, Romance, Shounen-ai, Slash, Songfic, Tragic Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29838018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaBoiBellabean/pseuds/YaBoiBellabean
Summary: Whenever he gazed into Sora’s cerulean eyes, he was never truly gazing intohiscerulean eyes. He always looked straight through him, as if he were completely transparent, completely non-existent.☆♬○♩●♪✧♩I'm the fool, in love with the fool, who's still in love with you♩✧♪●♩○♬☆Axel/Sora, Axel/Roxas ♬ Songfic AU
Relationships: Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Axel/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	The Fool

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cloudsgrl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudsgrl/gifts).



> The Fool - Lee Ann Womack
> 
> Rewrite of an old fic I'd dedicated to cloudsgrl a very long time ago. :3

Whenever he gazed into Sora’s cerulean eyes, he was never truly gazing into _his_ cerulean eyes. He always looked straight through him, as if he were completely transparent, completely non-existent. Every single time it happened, his heart fell into a cactus, leaving it punctured a million times over by tiny pins. It stung. And at times, he felt completely numb from the sheer pain. And every single time he’d begin to slowly pull out the needles, one-by-one, floods of anguish would gush from his heart. 

Sora never confronted him about it because all he wanted was for his boyfriend to be happy, wanted him to smile, and laugh, and _thrive_. Axel didn’t need to know that Sora knew that he still loved Roxas. 

_bzzt_

Fishing his phone out of his jacket pocket, he opened it and sighed. 

**‘What are you up to, babe?’**

His lips curled upward into a wry smile, and he shook his head. 

_‘Just got off work. Grabbing a drink at BCT. You coming?’_

“I’m a fool,” he murmured and shoved the phone back into his hoodie. Languidly, with one foot in front of the other, he walked along the cobbled path leading up to the Beachcomber Tavern. 

Sora paused in the doorway and pressed his fingers to his temples. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he hissed under his breath. He had two choices. He could turn around and walk out the door, pretending he’d never stepped foot into the bar. He could even text Axel and tell him that he was skipping the drink and invite him to dinner or something. 

Or he could go in and deal with it.

_bzzt_

Stepping outside, he leaned against the wall and stared at his lock screen. It was a photo from their first date. Axel had snagged Sora’s phone and snapped a selfie of the two of them together, sea salt ice cream bars hanging out of their mouths.

**‘Nah. You coming over after?’**

He unlocked his phone and smiled involuntarily. 

_‘Still got Ron Zacapa?’_

**‘Always.’**

_‘Yeah, I’ll be over in a couple hours. Gonna drop by my place first.’_

Sora put his phone on silent and made a decision. 

He rounded the corner and made a beeline to the open spot next to the blonde at the bar. “‘Sup Demyx?”

The bartender grinned and set a rocks glass on the wooden counter. “Not much. How’s it going, Sora?”

“Could be better,” he admitted and gave the blonde a sidelong glance. 

“Ah.” He made a generous pour of Johnnie Walker Blue neat and silently slid the glass to Sora. “This one’s on me.” 

Sora watched Demyx make eye contact with the blonde next to him before walking along the bar to greet another patron. 

Swirling his liquor around in the glass, he raised it to his nose. Fragrant with good body. Notes of oak, dried fruit, hints of cedar, and a touch of spice and citrus. As expected. He wanted to down the liquor, but it’d be a pity to shoot such fine scotch. He pressed the rocks glass to his lips. Supple. Rich. Toffee. Hints of chocolate and smoke. Sora set the glass back down, leaving a floral, oaky flavor on his tongue.

“Hey Roxas,” he said, turning to the man sitting next to him. “You probably don’t know me, but I know who you are.”

The blonde turned to him, confusion evident on his face. “No, you’re not familiar. How do you know me?”

“You know Axel, right?” 

Suddenly interested in what Sora had to say, he quietly leaned on his elbow. His eyes flicked over to Demyx and then back to Sora.

Was that recognition? Likely.

“Mind if I sit down?”

Roxas ran his finger around the rim of his glass, gesturing with his eyes that it was alright for Sora to sit down on the stool. He’d seen pictures before but. His eyes. He could suddenly see why Axel looked straight through him. Though their hair was styled differently, one blonde, one brunette, it was almost like looking into a mirror. If nobody knew any better, they could easily assume they were related.

It was unsettling.

“Do I look familiar?”

He must’ve been seeing the same thing Sora was as an amused smile danced across his lips. Roxas shook his head and pressed his drink to his lips.

“I don’t? Well,” Sora paused. _‘I should.’_ He sighed heavily, shoulders falling ever so slightly as he redirected his attention to his drink. “What are you drinking?”

“Same as you. Johnnie Walker Blue,” he replied. “But on the rocks. Never neat.”

“Ah,” Sora replied, leaning against the stool’s backrest.

Axel had always looked so incredibly happy in the photographs he still had. His eyes were filled with joy. And Roxas’ too. And it made him wonder for a brief moment why in the world Roxas had ended it with Axel. Because Axel was incredible. His quips were clever. He was sincere, authentic, honest. He had a hot temper, stuck his finger in the peanut butter jar, and dragged Sora out at all hours of the night to watch the stars or go sit on the beach for no real reason.

“I’m sure you’ve seen me around,” he murmured, staring at the blades of the ceiling fan slowly spinning in circles.

“Yeah,” he replied, watching Sora with uncertainty. “Maybe I have.”

Demyx quietly approached the two gentlemen and set two more rocks glasses on the counter, one with ice, one without. He pushed the drinks across the counter and offered a weary smile to them both. “This is awkward.”

“You think?” Roxas retorted, raising his eyebrows. “This wasn’t how I was planning on spending my evening, you know. But,” he looked back over to Sora. “Here we are.”

“This wasn’t how I was planning on spending mine either,” Sora drawled. “Yet here we are.”

“Do you guys want any fries, onion rings, nachos…?”

“Nah,” the two said in unison.

Damn. Completely unbelievable.

“Is he doing alright?”

“Yeah,” Sora replied. “He’s happy. Drinks too much coffee. Smokes too many cigarettes. He squeezes the toothpaste from the middle of the tube. And he sticks his finger in my mouth when I yawn.”

“I’m sure he still leaves his wet towels on the floor,” Roxas said, lips curling upward into a crooked smile. “And he still chews with his mouth ever-so-slightly open⸺just enough to make that obnoxious smacking sound?”

“Yeah.”

The two sat in silence. It was somehow simultaneously a relaxing and terribly uncomfortable silence. And Sora didn’t know what to think of the situation. At all. The guy next to him was the one that his boyfriend was in love with. He resented him for Axel’s feelings, feelings he couldn’t control. He wanted to hate Roxas more than words could ever express. 

“I know you’ve probably heard my name, though we’ve not been introduced.”

Roxas nodded and slid his first rocks glass across the counter. “Sora, right?”

“Yeah.”

Roxas tapped his fingers on the countertop and sighed. “Why?”

“If you’ve got a minute, I’ll buy you another drink,” Sora replied. “I’ve got something I’d like to say.”

“Alright,” Roxas agreed and waved Demyx over. “We’ll take another round.”

Leaning forward, Sora pressed his forehead into his fingers. “This might sound crazy, but last night in his sleep, I heard him call out your name.”

“Oh.” Roxas shifted on his stool and bit his lower lip.

“And it wasn’t the first time; he’s done it before. It’s a hard truth to face, you know?” Sora said, downing the second glass in one gulp. He’d told himself he wouldn’t do that. Johnnie Walker Blue was far too fine for him to be shooting. 

“It is,” Roxas agreed, wiping condensation off of the outside of his glass. “It hurts to know he’s happy. And it hurts to talk to you.”

“Love’s a fragile thing, huh?”

The blonde nodded and wrapped his fingers around the glass. “Yeah, it is.”

“I’m trying so hard to make it last,” Sora said, voice wavering. He made eye contact with Roxas and drew in a deep breath. “It isn’t easy holding onto my dream, you know? When he’s holding onto the past?”

“I’m sorry,” Roxas said softly. 

Sora shook his head and pressed the glass to his lips. He would sip it. Shooting scotch was a waste. “You have nothing to be sorry for. And neither does he. Emotions are fickle. And you can’t pick and choose your feelings. They just happen.”

“Fair,” he replied, pink tongue darting out from between his lips. “You really can’t, can you?”

Sora pulled his phone out and looked at the time. He needed to get going. He pulled out his wallet and flagged down Demyx. “I’ll take both our tabs,” he said, sliding his card to the bartender.

“Closing out?”

Nodding, Sora said, “Yeah. I’ve got some things I have to take care of.”

“I could’ve paid for my own drinks,” Roxas commented and threw back the rest of his scotch. 

They were a lot alike. Sora wondered just how much alike they really were. Probably in more ways than he could imagine. No wonder he felt like a stand-in. 

“I know,” he replied and signed the paper Demyx handed back to him. "I told you I'd buy you a drink." He pulled a twenty out of his wallet as he slipped his card back in and set his empty glass on top of it.

“Do you know why we broke up?”

“Yeah.”

“I regret it,” Roxas said.

“I really gotta get going,” Sora began. “But just one more thing before I go.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m not here to put you down.” 

Chuckling, Roxas shook his head. “Says the person about to put another person down.”

“You don’t love him, and that’s a fact,” Sora said, sliding off of the barstool. “I’ve seen so many pictures of you. He’s kept them. And on more than one occasion, I’ve seen him flip through your Instagram photos. You look so happy in them, which is great for you. Admittedly, I got curious, and I looked you up.”

“Who are you to say⸺”

“I’m not done,” Sora cut him off, an uncharacteristic chill in his voice. “I’ve seen you around. In town. On Instagram. In his nightstand. You are _everywhere_. And it’s so hard. I know you don’t love him.”

“But I do,” Roxas whispered, averting his gaze back to the drink in front of him. “I do love him.”

“You left him.”

“Yeah. I did. I didn’t know what I wanted. And by the time I figured it out, he had you.”

Sora wanted to scream at Roxas. He wanted to beat the ever-living shit out of him. Hearing him admit that he’d left Axel when he’d proposed made his blood boil. “Yet you hold his heart in the palm of his hand. You _still_ hold his heart in the palm of your hand.”

The blonde stayed quiet. 

“And it’s breaking mine in two.”

Narrowing his eyes at the brunette, Roxas spat, “Do you think it was easy for me to have given up a seven-year relationship? Do you really think that I could’ve gotten over our seven-year relationship in what? The six months you two have been dating? Do you know how awful it’s been, knowing how quickly he rebounded? With someone who⸺”

“Who looks like you,” Sora finished.

“I got scared, Sora. I got scared. Cold feet. He asked me to marry him, and I told him no, that I wasn’t ready. And I spend every single fucking day regretting it. I love him. I never stopped loving him. And I don’t know if I ever will stop loving him.”

Crestfallen, Sora conceded. “Then go.”

“Wha⸺”

“Before I change my mind. Go. He’s home. He has⸺”

“Ron Zacapa,” Roxas finished. “Sora I⸺”

“Go to him. Please. You’re the one he wants. You’re the one that he loves. He looks right through me. I’m your stand-in, Roxas. I’m his rebound. I’m his way of coping. I love him so much, but six months is nothing compared to seven years. Please. You’ll make him so much happier than I ever could.” 

“Thank you,” Roxas murmured, eyes wetting. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I love him, so I want him to be happy,” Sora said, stuffing his wallet into his back pocket. “I’m the clown in all of this. I’m the fool, in love with a fool, who’s still in love with you. I’ll shoot him a breakup text, so he doesn’t feel guilty. He’s going to be happy to see you.”

“Hey Sora?” Roxas said, sliding off of the stool, standing to meet him eye-to-eye. 

“Yeah?” he asked, dipping his hand into his pocket to pull out his phone. 

“I’ve spent the last six months hating you.”

“Me too,” Sora admitted. “But you’re not so bad.”

“Neither are you.”

Sora smiled, doing his absolute damnedest to hold back tears. “Maybe we can be friends. Not now, but someday.”

Roxas’ smile mirrored Sora's, and he nodded. “I’d like that.”

Before he retreated, Sora waved to both Roxas and Demyx. As soon as he stepped outside, he took a look at his lock screen and decided he needed to change it immediately. He opened up his texts and felt his heart jump into his throat.

**‘What time are you going to be here? I’m cooking for two. Hurry up.’**

Sora swallowed the lump building up and began typing.

_‘Axel, I love you so much. I’m sorry. I won’t be able to make it tonight.’_

**‘Are you okay? Did something happen?’**

_‘I’m not okay. But you will be. I don’t know when I’ll see you again.’_

**‘Are you fucking kidding me?’**

_‘No.’_

**‘Why? What did I do?’**

_‘Nothing. It’s not you.’_

His phone rang. He rejected the call. His phone rang again. He rejected the call again. 

**‘Sora, you don’t have to do this. Please come over, let’s talk. We can talk this out.’**

_‘Take care of yourself, Axel. I’m going to miss you. Maybe we can be friends someday.’_  


**‘Sora.’**

Sora was going to need a good fuck to get Axel off his mind. Tinder. It’s how he met Axel. Maybe he’d get lucky, and someone would swipe right.

**‘Sora, please.’**

He was never very good at dealing with this sort of thing

**‘Sora.’**

**‘Sora answer me.’**

**‘Sora?’**

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written for KH in many, many moons. I decided to rewrite an old fic on a whim and boy did it need rewriting. It's so fun to see how far my writing has come though! I might make my way through the old fics ~ 
> 
> Come hang out with me on twitter~! @YaBoiBellabean


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